nut hugger
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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