Got a toothbrush?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize