what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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