Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize