Soap is not a condiment
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
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