I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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