so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize