Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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