Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

Just fell off a train. Bad.

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(512): Just fell off a train. Bad. http://tfl.nu/32cv

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(912): View more from Georgia

i woke up with socks on this morning

(485): View more from

so?

(912): View more from Georgia

i didnt wear socks last night

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(912): i woke up with socks on this morning (485): so? (912): i didnt wear socks last night http://tfl.nu/lw6k

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.

(617): View more from Massachusetts

And why did you do that?

(857): View more from Massachusetts

Tequila

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(857): So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose. (617): And why did you do that? (857): Tequila http://tfl.nu/gjpj

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(404): View more from Georgia

He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.

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(404): He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic. http://tfl.nu/a5vi

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.

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(732): Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend. http://tfl.nu/3lzx

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(845): View more from New York

vagina is talking i cant

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(845): vagina is talking i cant http://tfl.nu/cyjf

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(408): View more from California

I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible

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(408): I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible http://tfl.nu/my4k

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(270): View more from Kentucky

she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.

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(270): she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah. http://tfl.nu/1uyt

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(214): View more from Texas

Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.

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(214): Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree. http://tfl.nu/bwsc

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??

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(908): I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off?? http://tfl.nu/r74o

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(520): View more from Arizona

Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.

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(520): Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell. http://tfl.nu/mi1d

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.

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(603): to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald. http://tfl.nu/pb1j

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(916): View more from California

My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.

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(916): My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher. http://tfl.nu/1p6a

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(760): View more from California

Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?

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(760): Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting? http://tfl.nu/x0ek

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(904): View more from Florida

Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.

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(904): Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN. http://tfl.nu/2f4k

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