We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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