He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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