You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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