Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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