White coat. Heels.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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