The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
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