bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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