i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Randomize