and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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