I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize