whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize