At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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