I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize