roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you win again, gameday.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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