this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
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She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
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I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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