I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize