Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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