my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
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Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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