I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
BRING THE BAGELS
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