i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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