she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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