Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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