She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
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the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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