that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
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I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
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just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
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