remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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