you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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