Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize