4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You were trust falling into bushes
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize