a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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