No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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