I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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