fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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