i was rollin on her like bob the builder
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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