She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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