can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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