drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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