she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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