On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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