what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
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