Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my poor anus
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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