i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize